- reminiscentii -

Heya guys. I finally got my blog up! My webhost encountered problems moving servers, and there were plenty of idiots asking for support with questions which could be answered if they could read the goddamn forums for information. Sigh. Ah well, no use complaining about them. I'm just glad that it's finally over for me. Yay.

As promised, after yesterday's ranting I'm talking about the holidays. There's nothing much to talk about, really. The only thing that shook me out of the drowsiness and boredom is the English department's decision. Now that the school has confirmed that there was no such thing, the week seemed boring as hell again.

Until Wednesday, that is. On Thursday as classes ended, I proceeded to bathe and rush off for lunch, then went to grab my headset. Apparently the Sennheiser MM50IP I have died yet again, so the only thing I could do was rush off to get a replacement. I don't think I can bear not having music being pumped in my ears while being on a bus for 8 consecutive hours. The shows are boring, the screen's glaring and the guy beside me would be snoring (that's assuming Wei Herr will be sitting beside me. XD) So more or less, the earpiece is my lifeline to having a better night's rest. Ironic. Lol

Then I went off to look for Phei San. She and her friend needs to bathe quicker. I spent years waiting for them at the MRT station (NO OFFENSE XD) and even had time to go to THEIR station to wait for them. Hmm. Lol. But I guess it was nice meeting her again after years of isolation. Heh. Had dinner at some place her friend suggested, and it was expensive, but nice. There's 3 very very thin pieces of abalone, and that alone cost 3 dollars more. Wadafrick. XD

Then when I thought I could get a good night's rest on Friday, I went and visit Chi Hao on Saturday. Siao. We met at Bugis that day, and he along with his mother and brother are here for the sole reason to skip NS. Double siao. Cancelling their PR-ship! Fuhhh. Three strikes, you're out damnit. :p Of course, I talked about how RI life is and he talked (a lot more than I did) about Sam Tet life, and how the Computer Club is in complete disrepair. Shit. More work for me now. SIEN! And he visited RI too and met up with Zheng Hung whilst going around "wahhh"-ing seeing the school. Quadruple siao, now gtfo. :p

Finally, I do hope everything turns out fine. Signing off.

This is not exactly a blog post. The real blog post will come later after this rant. Maybe tomorrow? Or the day after. (:

Sometimes as I grow up I tend to notice very minute things that others don't give a damn about. Things like the slight change in behavior of my friends, the anger that my parents feel, and so on and so forth. The list goes on and on and I can't be half-assed to actually list ALL of them down. But somehow I do realize that the degree of words have intensified.

I remembered when I was in my first year of primary school, saying bad words used to be a taboo. Never mind the kind of scolding we get now, in those days I actually get a severe punishment if I ever said anything rude to anyone. The maximum I could go even when I was steaming angry was "who are you?" or "what do you think you're doing?" or "why?" Even adding any "suffix" to the end of the question word, I would get a huge scolding. Why, I do not know.

Then came the 4th or 5th year. With increasing exposure to movies that were marked PG13 or even NC16, I started using "what the heck", "who the heck", "why the heck" and many more the hecks you can think of. Somehow the idea of using only the question word showed mild anger or even signs of weakness. So to project my emotions better, be it anger, surprise or just because, I use "the heck". How the heck can that be wrong? And my parents were cool with it too, and so are teachers; they barely scold or say anything.

Then came the first year of secondary school. Somehow people started using "the hell" all around me. "The heck" seemed like a very weak form of speech now. Using the 5W1H by itself made you seem like a wimp when you're expressing strong emotions. So I thought, hey, "the hell" sounds cool. So I'll continue using it. What the hell's wrong with it? I don't see anything wrong. Even people around me are using it, including my family members sometimes. So why the hell should I not use it?

Of course, as the days go by, more and more things accumulate behind the simplest of words. Even when there was no need for such words. "Where the heck are you going?" "What the hell la!" "Who the heck did this?" And then came "??? the bloody hell", "??? the freaking hell", and then everything adds up to a nice long train. Then people started wondering: if this goes on, it'll take years for me to complete just one sentence! So why not shorten it?!

Yes. And that's how people came up with "the f**k". Who gives a single f**k about whether or not it's used properly! As long as it sounds cool, all the more it should be used! Nobody on the phone after they phone you? Just shout "who the f**k is this?"! Or "what the f**k do you want?" Or countless other possibilities which make your everyday speech cooler. The only thing you'll ever earn from parents is a shush anyway. So why the f**k not?

And my thoughts? If this goes on, the final word would be unfathomable. Probably a word randomly put together with jumbled, meaningless letters that don't even seem to make sense. Like "who the fritzeschnide" or the "asimafrungiast" or whatever there is. So from now on, I'll start using the root form of questioning without letting my feelings override my senses, no matter how sissy or weeny it sounds using just one word instead of a long list of words, because I'm human and I have self control, thank you very much.

It's ironic that I am posting this a week after my last post as if all the peace and serenity was just a mask of what I feel deep down inside. Please do not misunderstand me. I have no intention of wreaking havoc whatsoever. I'm merely expressing my thoughts. I haven't felt this angry for a long time, and instead of swallowing it and take it silently while the thought of it drives me into insanity, I'm throwing it out all here, so that I can sleep better tonight.

Merely an hour or so ago, I heard it from Ms. Kathy herself that there would be a change in the school English system. Whether or not this applies to scholars only, I do not know as of yet; but it was evidently clear that the English department (whether or not with the influence of RI(JC) and/or MOE) will be putting up a mock English paper of the same standard as O-Levels, and we will not be allowed to proceed to RI(JC) (or as I still prefer to call it, RJC) should we achieve a grade of less than B3.

I felt anger rushing through my every nerve telling me to start throwing things or swinging a knife around. With less than 4 months of preparation, we were supposed to take a formal paper we had no experience with? Excuse me?! While I have not received any details as to what will happen to us if we cannot achieve a B3, I do understand where the school/EL department is coming from.

I felt "cheated", in a way, because I still remember with perfect clarity that Mr. Magendiran said before I even took the tests for the scholarship that the school "will do their [sic] best to ensure that scholars will not lose out to their Singaporean counterparts in class." So what now? At the start of the year it was "we are going to prepare you for your AQ question for GP", then it was "the school has a strict RP programme and we have competent" *cough* "teachers to teach GP to the students", and NOW "take mock paper for O-Levels and die if you don't get a B3"? Is that what the English department is doing now? Everchanging for so-called creativity?

Please do not get me wrong. I am proud to say that I am a member of the Wang Family. The very blood of my ancestors are within me. I can learn a language faster than anyone else and master it if it's in alphabet. Evident, when I can learn basic Japanese in romaji tons and loads faster than in writing. So the language part is no obstacle to me. I got an A1 for last year's EOY's essay writing, which is not emphasised by the school, sadly. Though I feel much injustice for other scholars, expressing that would make this blog post into a thesis.

The killer part for me is the logic behind comprehension. I have done many comprehension papers and quite a number of them turn out to be below average. Reason? My answers are apparently "does not adhere to the marking scheme". So the English paper itself is dead. While my logic can flow in many directions in random. Thus many of my answers can be wrong because my understanding of the passage is different from the teachers' understanding of the passage, or as they claim "the author's interpretation of the passage."

Millions of questions run through my mind.
1) Is it wrong to be creative or different?
2) Is the teachers' way of interpretation always correct?
3) What makes a student's logic wrong, even when the student's logic is correct?
4) Just because the student's logic is different from the teachers' or the so-called "author's" logic, therefore all of our logic is completely wrong and should be rejected by the society?
5) What makes you teachers think that your understanding of the passage matches the author's?

I'm very, very fed up of English teachers telling me that my interpretation is wrong. Or my logic is incorrect. Why must I think things your way? Why can't you think things my way? And whenever I question them, I get myself flooded with scoldings and lectures. I don't understand. Can someone enlighten me?